Everyone is excited about the new White Sox stadium in the South Loop, even though no details have been announced by the team or the city. about their plans.
Credit goes to the Sox for getting fans pumped for opening day, even if it’s not until 2030, and to Mayor Brandon Johnson, who will likely be gone before construction on the ballpark begins.
If we’re hurrying to make Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf’s new pet project happen, we should start thinking about the naming rights.
Guaranteed Rate Field, the current ballpark name, has not become popular since replacing U.S. Cellular Field, which was widely known as “the Cell.” U.S. Cellular Field replaced “new Comiskey Park,” the original name in 1991 which honored the demolished ballpark across the street. Former owner Charles Comiskey named the ballpark after himself, a move that Reinsdorf definitely won’t replicate.
Regardless of the name, many fans still called the Sox’s home “Sox Park,” a name that sticks through generations.
While we await Reinsdorf and Johnson’s plan, here are 10 suggestions for the name of the new South Loop ballpark:
1. Manny’s Cafeteria & Delicatessen Stadium
The South Loop’s most beloved restaurant deserves priority for the new stadium name.
The traditional Jewish deli is only a three-minute drive down Roosevelt Road from the proposed stadium site, and is expected to be as popular for pregame dining as McCuddy’s once was for pregame drinking.
2. Rat Hole Park
The Rat Hole Preservation Society, our nickname for those anonymous do-gooders in Roscoe Village who helped preserve the city’s latest tourist attraction from vandalism, should create a GoFundMe page for the naming rights.
The Rat Hole is a rodent-shaped crater in a sidewalk that somehow became as famous as the Bean. The Sox could even get creative and design a park with the same imprint. Rat Hole Park would be a perfect destination for a ballgame in Chicago and would honor both our favorite rodents and our history of corrupt politicians.
The only problem might be that some Sox fans already refer to Wrigley Field as “the rat hole.”
3. The 78
The area around Clark Street and Roosevelt Road is already referred to as “the 78″ based on someone’s idea that it eventually would become the 78th neighborhood in Chicago.
“The 78″ could also be seen as a tribute to the 1978 White Sox, a team that had the misfortune of following the popular ‘77 group known as the “South Side Hit Men.” Without “rent-a-players” Richie Zisk and Oscar Gamble, the stars of the Hit Men, the Sox plunged to a 90-loss season. They did however manage to acquire Claudell Washington in a trade for Bobby Bonds, and the outfielder’s inability to play hard inspired the famous banner in right field: “Washington Slept Here.”
4. Obama Yards
The world’s most famous Sox fan is former President Barack Obama, though he once called Comiskey Park “Comiskey Field” in an interview with Bob Costas.
Obama’s presidential library is currently being built in Jackson Park and could use another landmark a few miles north. One fan of the White Sox asked Reinsdorf in a Chicago Tribune article to sell the team to Obama publicly, but first things first. If the stadium was named after Obama, it might convince him to attend some games.
5. Loop Park
Encouraging people to go back to the Loop might be easier if it meant going to a ballpark with the same name, and the former classic rock radio station called “the Loop” would be a fitting connection for nostalgic Sox fans.
A statue of Steve Dahl blowing up disco albums would look nice in center, in memory of one of the most celebrated moments in Sox history.
6. Second City Stadium
The Second City improv theater includes some of the most recognized names in comedy over the years, from John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd to Tina Fey and Stephen Colbert.
In the mid ‘90s I asked Second City alum George Wendt, a South Side Sox fan who played Norm on “Cheers,” to give his theory on the team’s attendance issues in the new Comiskey Park.
“Maybe you could’ve put it on the free TV versus cable TV thing a few years back,” Wendt replied. “But now they’re on WGN sometimes, so I don’t know. It seems like emigres to Chicago, the postgraduates who settle here in the suburbs, north or south, become Cubs fans. It seems like to be a Sox fan, you have to be born and raised on the South Side.”
That might still be true today.
7. This Space for Rent Field
A temporary solution while the Sox try to find a sponsor from the cryptocurrency world.
8. Ozzie Guillen Field
The manager of the only Sox team to win a championship since 1917 doesn’t have a statue in Guaranteed Rate Field. To make amends, the Sox could name the new ballpark after Guillen, who currently works as an analyst for NBC Sports Chicago and provides unfiltered commentary on the team’s issues.
“Meet you at ‘the Oz’” sounds like a good way to start a day.
9. Taylor Swift Stadium
Being associated with the world’s biggest pop star seemed to work well for the NFL. The Sox could use the boost in attendance, even if Reinsdorf has to pay Swift for the use of her name.
10. Sox Park
Well, this is what it will eventually be called no matter what it’s named, so why not just cut to the chase?
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