It’s time to dress in green and enjoy a Guinness or two – it’s St Patrick’s Day 2024!
St Patrick’s Day celebrates the patron saint of Ireland, St Patrick, who played a crucial role in transitioning Ireland from Paganism to Christianity.
Normally, the occasion is observed in countries worldwide, with a variety of parades, parties and music festivals.
So while you’re searching for a four-leaf clover or kissing your blarney stone, here’s a collection of jokes, puns and more to help celebrate the day.
Funniest St Patrick’s Day Jokes
The Irish are famous for their clever storytelling and jokes, often featuring characters named Paddy. Here, we’ve gathered some of our favorite jokes for St Patrick’s Day:
What does a leprechaun keep outside his house? His Paddy-o furniture.
Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
Paddy says: ‘Are you on foot or in the car?’
Billy replies: ‘In the car.’
‘Yeah, that’s the quickest way,’ says Paddy.
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving.
Late Sunday evening he was found in a tree by a farmer.
‘What happened?’ said the farmer.
Liam explained that his parachute failed to open.
‘Well,’ said the farmer ‘If you had asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you nothing opens around here on a Sunday.’
The barman says to Paddy ‘Your glass is empty, fancy another one?’
Looking around puzzled, Paddy says ‘Why would I be needing two empty glasses?’
Best St Patrick’s Day Instagram captions
- Ready to Shamrock and roll.
- I wish you were here…
- They think it’s all clover – it is now.
- I’m not Irish, but my coffee is.
- We’ve reached the point of no return.
- The fun doesn’t start ’til I walk in.
- Zero lucks given.
St Patrick’s Day quotes and sayings
‘St. Patrick’s Day is a magical time — a day to start turning winter’s dreams into summer’s magic.’ – Adrienne Cook
‘May the roof above us never collapse. And may the friends gathered below it never fall out.’
‘You can take a man out of Ireland, but you can’t take the Irishness out of the man.’ – Tyson Fury
‘I hope that every day for you will be happy from the beginning and may you always have good luck and a song in your heart.’
‘May your blessings surpass the shamrocks that grow. And may trouble evade you wherever you go.’ – Irish blessing
‘For the whole world is Irish on the Seventeenth o’ March!’
‘Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me.’ – Colin Farrell
‘Ireland is a land of poets and legends, of dreamers and rebels.’
St Patrick’s Day prayer
‘May the road rise up to meet you.
I hope the wind is always behind you.
I hope the sun shines warmly on your face;
the rains fall gently on your fields
and until we meet again,
may God keep you in the palm of His hand’
