Everyone is excited for the new White Sox stadium in the South Loop, even though the team and the city have not announced any details about their plans.
Congratulations to the Sox for getting fans enthusiastic for opening day, even if it is not until Opening Day 2030, and to Mayor Brandon Johnson, who will likely be gone before the construction of the ballpark begins.
If we are moving quickly towards an agreement to make Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf’s new personal project a reality, we might as well start considering the naming rights.
Guaranteed Rate Field, the current ballpark's name, has not been widely accepted since replacing U.S. Cellular Field, which was commonly known as “the Cell.” U.S. Cellular Field replaced “new Comiskey Park,” the original name in 1991 which paid tribute to the demolished ballpark across the street. Former owner Charles Comiskey named the ballpark after himself, a concept that Reinsdorf certainly will not replicate.
Regardless of the name it went by, many fans still called the Sox’s home “Sox Park,” a name that is easily remembered across generations.
While we eagerly await Reinsdorf and Johnson’s plan, here are 10 ideas for the name of the new South Loop ballpark:
1. Manny’s Cafeteria & Delicatessen Stadium
The South Loop’s most beloved restaurant deserves the first right to name the new stadium.
The classic Jewish deli is only a three-minute drive down Roosevelt Road from the proposed stadium site, and is expected to be as popular for pregame dining as McCuddy’s once was for pregame drinking.
2. Rat Hole Park
The Rat Hole Preservation Society, our affectionate term for those anonymous do-gooders in Roscoe Village who helped protect the city’s latest tourist attraction from vandalism, needs to establish a GoFundMe page for the naming rights.
The Rat Hole is a rodent-shaped crater in a sidewalk that somehow became as famous as the Bean. The Sox could even get creative and design a park with the same imprint. Rat Hole Park would be a perfect destination for a ballgame in Chicago and would honor both our favorite rodents and our history of corrupt politicians.
The only issue might be that some Sox fans already refer to Wrigley Field as “the rat hole.”
3. The 78
The area around Clark Street and Roosevelt Road is already referred to as “the 78″ based on someone’s vision that it would eventually become the 78th neighborhood in Chicago.
“The 78″ could also be seen as a tribute to the 1978 White Sox, a team that had the misfortune of following the popular ‘77 group known as the “South Side Hit Men.” Without “rent-a-players” Richie Zisk and Oscar Gamble, the stars of the Hit Men, the Sox plunged to a 90-loss season. They did however manage to acquire Claudell Washington in a trade for Bobby Bonds, and the outfielder’s inability to play hard inspired the famous banner in right field: “Washington Slept Here.”
4. Obama Yards
The world’s most famous Sox fan is former President Barack Obama, though he once called Comiskey Park “Comiskey Field” in an interview with Bob Costas.
Obama’s presidential library is currently under construction in Jackson Park and could use a counterpart a few miles north. One White Sox supporter publicly asked Reinsdorf in a Chicago Tribune opinion piece to sell the team to Obama, but let's focus on one thing at a time. Renaming the stadium in honor of Obama might even persuade him to attend some matches.
5. Loop Park
Encouraging people to return to the Loop might be easier if it meant going to a ballpark with the same name, and the former classic rock radio station called “the Loop” would be a fitting connection for nostalgic Sox fans.
A sculpture of Steve Dahl destroying disco albums would look good in center, honoring one of the most celebrated moments in Sox history.
6. Second City Stadium
The Second City improv theater has featured some of the most well-known names in comedy over the years, from John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd to Tina Fey and Stephen Colbert.
In the mid ‘90s I asked Second City graduate George Wendt, a South Side Sox fan who played Norm on “Cheers,” to give his theory on the team’s attendance issues in the new Comiskey Park.
“Maybe you could’ve put it on the free TV versus cable TV thing a few years back,” Wendt replied. “But now they’re on WGN sometimes, so I don’t know. It seems like emigres to Chicago, the postgraduates who settle here in the suburbs, north or south, become Cubs fans. It seems like to be a Sox fan, you have to be born and raised on the South Side.”
That might still be true today.
7. This Space for Rent Field
A temporary solution while the Sox try to find a sponsor from the cryptocurrency world.
8. Ozzie Guillen Field
The manager of the only Sox team to win a championship since 1917 doesn’t have a statue in Guaranteed Rate Field. To make amends, the Sox could name the new ballpark after Guillen, who currently works as an analyst for NBC Sports Chicago and provides unfiltered commentary on the team’s issues.
“Meet you at ‘the Oz’” sounds like a good way to start a day.
9. Taylor Swift Stadium
Being associated with the world’s biggest pop star seemed to work well for the NFL. The Sox could use the boost in attendance, even if Reinsdorf has to pay Swift for the use of her name.
10. Sox Park
Well, this is what it will eventually be called no matter what it’s named, so why not just cut to the chase?
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